I CAN’T GET MY EGG OUT OF ITS CASE
WTF IS THIS SHIT I’M NOT IN THE FUCKING GOBLET OF FIRE I WANT MY FUCKING CHOCOLATE
A BRILLIANT IDEA!!!
I LEGITIMATELY RAMMED MY HEAD INTO MY CHOCOLATE EGG AND I CAN CONFIRM THAT IT IS ACTUALLY AN EGG OF STEEL JESUS FUCKING CHRIST 0/10 WOULD NOT TRY AGAIN
THERE’S NOT EVEN A FUCKING DENT IN THIS EGG TO I HAVE TO GO TO A HOT TUB AND SING TO IT OR SOMETHING I JUST WANTED FUCKING CHOCOLATE
how to boys
foie:
- greet
- chat
- chat
- chat
- joke
- joke
- joke
- joke
- compliment appearance
- compliment personality
- flirt
- flirt
- flirt
- hug
- hug
- hug
- hug
- hug
- hug
- amorous hug
- amorous hug
- first kiss
- kiss
- kiss
- kiss
- make out
- make out
- make out
- make out
- woo-hoo
- woo-hoo
- woo-hoo
- propose
Robert Pattinson wins the “Most Likely To Be A Douchebag But Turned Out To Be A Pretty Cool Guy” Award.
Cole Sprouse wins the “Seems To Be A Cool Guy But Turned Out To Be A Douchebag” Award
Chris Brown wins the “Most Likely To Be A Douchebag But Turned Out To Be An Even Bigger Douchebag” Award.
Leonardo DiCaprio Seems To Be A Cool Guy But Never Wins An Award
i’m actually really worried that nobody will ever fall in love with me
1o14:
i want world peace but there are people i want to kill first
please dont sit right next to me while im on the computer that is just not happening
IF U WANNA BE MY LOVER U GOTTA at least text me sometimes damn
Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:
I want that to be the final line of my biography.








